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8 Reasons to Take a Break From Your Illness Support Group

By: Lisa Copen


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When the diagnosis of an illness arrives, it's very common for everyone, including your doctor, to recommend a support group. Studies have shown that support groups are in fact very beneficial and can impact how well a person copes with his or her illness. However, it's not uncommon for people with illness to have no desire to attend a support group. Just as with any kind of group, there are some support groups you will connect with well and others that you will not. Don't conclude all support groups are the same; just because one doesn't seem like a refreshing place to be, doesn't mean there aren't any groups for you.

But is a support group really necessary right now? Whether you are looking for a amyloidosis support group in New York City or an Aspergers support group in Dallas, the real question may be, is this a season in your life when you need the support that a small group offers? Just as changes occur while we living with illness for decades there are seasons in our life when an illness support group may be where we find our very best friends; Other times it may feel like we have no desire, or even need, to attend.

Below are eight tips to help you decide if a support group is something you may not even need right now:

1. You are handling the day-to-day aspects of living with illness with ease. You don't even have time to analyze how you are coping with your illness because you're simply too busy living life.

2. You are surrounded by a group of people like friends or family members who are a good influence on you. They understand that you are making a choice to live the best you can despite your daily pain and they can appreciate that.

3. You don't feel resentment, anger, or bitterness toward people who don't deal with chronic conditions. Your relationships with others aren't tainted by you comparing your abilities (or lack of) with others entering your thoughts.

4. You can easily carry on conversations without mentioning your illness. You don't feel it's such an integral part of who you are that you need to tell every stranger you meet about your disease.

5. You don't gaze at others with envy. You feel you have risen above the exasperation of seeing healthy people taking their health for granted.

6. You have discovered that sitting around at a support group and talking about your illness is more emotionally draining than helpful. You are in a place emotionally where you don't find the need to talk about your illness that often.

7. You feel comfortable researching symptoms or making calls to find the information you need in order to be a good advocate for your health and illness.

8. You have at least one friend who lives with illness that you feel you can talk freely with about what you may be experiencing. You have the opportunity to vent or share ideas with someone who understands your "language" of illness.

If you could relate with all of the signs above, chances are that you don't need a support group at this time in your life. But guess what? You may be an excellent leader of an illness support group. All of the signs above that explain your coping skills, can be part of your outline to write a proposal for starting up a support group.

The best support groups are often led by people who have overcome the daily frustrations and bitterness that accompany illness during the first years of diagnosis. The fact that you are past the initial rollercoaster of emotions would greatly benefit a group of people still struggling with them.

If the idea of leading a support group doesn't sound appealing right now, that's fine too! Go have fun with any activity you feel passionate about. Just remember, there are remarkable people in support groups who will be there to offer comfort when you find you need it.

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Get a free download of 200 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend from "Beyond Casseroles" by Lisa Copen when you subscribe to HopeNotes invisible illness ezine at Rest Ministries. Lisa is the founder of Invisible Illness Awareness



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