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A Parents' Guide To 'Unsuitable' TV Shows

By: Luka Berini


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'I'm really not sure what to do. I can't see any way forward, short of alienating my children. Is there a way?'

The mother sitting across from me in the school's Guidance Suite was clearly in an emotional turmoil. She was desperately seeking an answer to her problem.

She was a devout churchgoer, but because of the nature of this dilemma, she felt she couldn't approach her minister.

You see, on her last church visit he had preached on the topic of unsuitable TV shows and how they had a negative effect on the whole community. Top of the list was the 'soaps' which seemed to portray nothing but backbiting, infidelity, crime, despair and a host of other less desirable human traits.

As she saw it, this Mum had only two choices: she could turn a blind eye, like lots of people were doing; or she could turn the TV off and forbid the kids to watch these programmes - but that would no doubt make them go elsewhere.

And if she took such a firm and one-sided approach, the kids would rebel and there'd be no hope of keeping them 'on her side'. Could anything be done?

This 'moral dilemma' is one that faces all parents in some form or other: how do you stop your kids watching certain TV shows/viewing unsuitable DVDs/taking alcohol or drugs when 'everyone else is doing it? (You can replace the specific 'moral dilemma' with one that affects your family!)

On this occasion, we'll use the TV programmes as an example.

I would certainly go against the heavy-handed approach that says, 'No one in this house watches that filth!'

Believe me, this isn't a case of turning a 'blind eye' in order to avoid conflict and have a peaceful home life.

These media influences are everywhere, aren't they? So we must respond to them. But what can we do?

Why don't we talk to our children - in an open and friendly manner - and discuss what we believe is wrong in these programmes? We can't be with our kids everywhere, but they can use their own judgement.

It makes more sense, then, to impart our higher standards to them.

This can be achieved by an open discussion of the content in these shows.

If a show is downright evil or immoral, then definitely let's keep it out of our homes. But for the majority that portray a lifestyle or behaviour we take issue with, then let's view them (with our kids if possible) and have the confidence to open up a discussion about what is being portrayed.

The questions raised will usually involve attacks on family life, a lack of mutual respect, a questioning of or outright disrespect for society and its values.

Listen to the young people's point of view, and - in a calm and assertive tone - make it clear what you think of it all, and stress why you feel there are better alternatives.

In this way you expose them to higher ideals and teach them to be more discerning. If they witness strong leadership from you, they will be more likely to follow. So when they are away and you have no direct control, you can be confident you will have influenced their responses.

Happy parenting!

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