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Couples Therapy (Danish - "Parterapi") - Save Your Marriage Now

By: http://www.MyIndoorherbgarden.com/


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Divorce rates in Denmark are among the highest in the world, making the word "parterapi", Danish for couples therapy, of vital importance to a great number of Danish couples

Most people I've spoken to regard parterapi as the last resort before divorce. One has long been dissatisfied. One has tried with arguments and long talks, but nothing has helped. One has spoken with friends and parents, maybe even with a priest or bartender - but good advice is hard to come by. One has (almost) given up.

Parterapi is the last resort in an attempt to save a relationship on the downslide. Many also perceive having to pay for help, to make a loving relationship work, as a defeat. And it's probably expensive as well. . .

Upon arrival at therapy, it often turns out that the expectations, far from shared, are quite different for the two participants. For some, it is already over and only the tidying up remains. Help (or courage) is needed to end an often painful existence. Some arrive unwilling to participate but unable to decline being "dragged" there by the other - unwilling or unable to refuse to taking part in what may be a fruitless rescue attempt.

Many come believing that copuples therapy is about getting quick advice on how to improve communication or other behaviors so that everything can get back to the way it was.

- and many are told, to their surprise, that the therapist cannot offer a magical cure. They discover that they need to begin a period of hard work and that the help they can get from a therapist consists of guidance and support in the rebuiding of a stable and trustful relationship. They also discover that it may take more time than they thought and that the work involved may be harder than anticipated and that progress may not be smooth but that relapses can be expected. Hopefully they will share laughter and tears along the way and find the courage to continue.

It takes courage to share one's innermost thoughts and reveal one's deepest aspirations. Courage to feel one's feelings, one's strengths and one's weaknesses. Courage to step forth - vulnerable and afraid - and to meet another person without the usual protective armor one has taken so many years to build up.

It may not be surprising that so many couples do not attempt therapy. Or give up after only a few tries.

For those who make it through, the pain and effort are well worth the reward. An increase in self confidence, self assurance and optimism about the relationship and about life in general are often the result. The couple leaves equipped with strategies for ways of solving problems and disagreements and smoothing out difficulties. They gain insights into their own resources and into new ways of confronting each other, life and the world around them. They learn to treasure their differences.

They often say to themselves in the end: "Whay did we wait such a long time?", "What prevented us from starting earlier?", "I wonder where we'd be today if we'd started all this long, long ago?", "If only we had known"

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Considering Couples Therapy? Ilan Wolffberg is an American parterapi expert and has been residing in Denmark for over 30 years. Check out his take on couples therapy at "Have A Look At Couples Therapy" and in Danish at "Om parterapi"
This article is available as a unique content article with free reprint rights.



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