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Guaranteeing The Second Date

By: Pam Baldwin


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Initially your goal shouldn't be to get a second date. It should be to get to know the other person and then decide if you even want a second date. If your date has an agreeable personality then they are probably going to want a second date anyway.

Meeting someone in person that you met online is a little different though. Once you get to know someone online and decide to meet in person then that is actually your second date. Getting to that first in person meeting is the same as getting the second date.

But how do you project that normal and likeable personality? And how do you forge an emotional connection? The first trick is: be yourself. Not the nervous, stammer-y guy or girl you may be around strangers, but your best self. The way you're relaxed around friends. There's a lot of forgiveness for nervousness on first dates, but there's a lot more to be said for confidence.

True confidence comes with experience and success. It's sort of paradoxical that you have to succeed before you can really succeed, but you can always do the actor's favorite trick: fake it until you make it. Work on projecting an air of confidence and holding in self-destructive things like "I boiled my last boyfriend's bunny." But don't cross the line into prat or schmuck.

That's normal, now here's likeable. Embrace your imperfections, accept them rather than defend them. Don't display them, but, rather, if they show up, smile and acknowledge it with a little humor to show you know it's unusual. If the other person won't accept that, you probably don't really want another date with them.

Don't always expect fireworks with the first meeting. Emotional connections are easily spotted but not always so easily forged. If you and your date make eye contact with ease and have aspects in common then you know you are developing one.

Ending the evening at the high point is crucial in getting the second date. This leaves your date wanting to spend more time with you. That right there is the true key to getting the second date.

Don't fake an excuse to leave or you'll seem uninterested. Rather, set a time limit at the start of the date (an hour or so is good) and stick to it. Unless it's going really well. Then you can have the second date in the morning.

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