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Staying Married In The 21st Century

By: Marriage Saver


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For many hundreds of years leading up to and including the 19th century, most married couples remained married. The majority of these couples stayed married because they didn't have many options. Many stayed together due to necessity or their belief or for the sake of the children, so they would not be ridiculed. Even though they stayed together, many of those marriages were not happy.

The rate of divorce, now that we have reached the 21st century is approximately 50%. The reasons that people get a divorce are many and varied. It seems that those in the American culture are finding it easier and easier to get a divorce. Even though there can be many problems after as well.

At the same time, does anyone really enter a marriage believing that they're not going to stay together? Are there some things a couple can do to head this off before the problems get so severe that they need to separate and divorce? There are always circumstances that will lead to divorce and have for centuries but let's look at a few ways to stay in in a good marriage.

When a newly married couple is at the altar, we often hear statements like, "in sickness and in health" or "till death do us part," which mean we are going to make this work and stay together. The sad thing is, at the first sign of trouble or when things get rough, in our disposable society, it's easy to discard the person and the relationship. On the other hand, a good foundation to a marriage is a commitment to each other to stay together.

Now if you didn't make a commitment to beginning of your marriage and there are problems, it's still not too late to recommit the relationship. You do need to say to each other things like "I'm sorry, what can I do for you, I love you, I want to work this out." Let each other know, that's your commitment and this will let each other know that there is hope.

The next big question is how to heal the marriage and then worked on this commitment together. There are couples who are able to do this on their own, but most will need to be assistance of outside help. Some couples will be able to turn to family and friends, others will turn to the church or synagogue while others may seek professional counseling. Most importantly, try something different and to stick to a plan.

Until your new plan becomes a habit, it will take some effort to carry this out and you may need some outside help. Before you seek some other assistance you may want to try something simple like making a date night on the weekend. Also, be intentional about saying nice things to each other on a daily basis. Again, it will take a number of weeks for this to become a habit. So you may need to write it down and look at your plan often as you carry out the acts that tell your spouse that you care.

Making these nice gesture is showing that you care is not a cure all for your new commitment and it doesn't always work. However, if you really do care about each other, if you want to make your marriage work if you want to be happier together, make an effort to do something nice for that person. Make them happy and give to the relationship, don't take from it. If each person gives to the relationship, there's a very good chance for the marriage to grow and become happier.

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Instead of giving up on the marriage, be sure you check the tools from the Marriage Saver at ways to save a marriage and do this right away with the ways to save a marriage today.



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