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Steps to building a child's self-esteem

By: Abel Cheng

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Self-esteem is the foundation of how a person acts, thinks and feels about the world and themselves.

What factors make up self-esteem? Self-confidence, pride, self-sufficiency, self-respect, and independence all combine to make self-esteem. The majority of our self-esteem is developed during childhood. Especially in kids, self-esteem constantly changes as we experience different social interactions and new events.

Enhancing a child's self-esteem is the first step to ensuring his or her right to personal safety. Keeping children away from physical harm is only secondary.

Keeping your outlook positive will help your child maintain a positive self-esteem. Praising them when they learn, try or accomplish things will help your child feel confident that they are good at those things, and foster their growing sense of positive self-esteem.

Children who feel that they are competent often feel as though they are accepted, which is also an important part of building good self esteem in children. By keeping your child involved in challenging activities, and encouraging them to try even when they may fail is an important way to encourage personal growth. A child who constantly succeeds at simple, unchallenging tasks may feel as though he shouldn't even try to accomplish more difficult tasks.

Even though your child may misbehave, you can still bolster their self confidence and self-esteem by explaining to them that their behavior was unacceptable, but they are still loved and accepted. When you talk to your child, there are several things you can do to effectively communicate and boost positive self-esteem.

1. Use positive words. For instance, telling a child what you would like them to do in a way that excludes words like "no" or "bad". You can help your child maintain a positive attitude by being positive yourself.

2. Let kids complete their sentences. Avoid interruptions, as these disrupt their train of thought or make them forget what they're saying. Otherwise, they'll feel as if their ideas are insignificant and not worth listening to.

3. Get on their level. If you are talking to a toddler, you should kneel down to speak to them. The child should be able to see your face without straining to look up.

4. Take turns in the conversation. Agree on who speaks first, and who speaks next. It is important for parents to encourage kids to verbalize their ideas and feelings, but to also wait for the go signal to speak. Children should be able to understand that if people talk all at the same time, they will end up understanding nothing.

5. Keep a calm, uncritical, and non-irritable manner when explaining. Keep your "speech" concise. Use language that kids will easily understand, explaining to them what they need to do, and why they should or should not do it. Speaking in a calm tone also keeps panic from rising within them.

6. Don't be afraid to discipline. If you child misbehaves, tell them in a simple way they understand that the behavior is unacceptable, and explain what behavior you expect.

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The author: Abel Cheng is the brain behind Parent Wonder site. Learn to be a better parent with his insightful parenting tips found on his website.

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Steps to building a child's self-esteem

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