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What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

By: Knight Pierce Hirst


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There are times I've wanted to be a bartender. A people-person with good listening skills who can mix drinks - how hard could that be? Well ... it seems to have gotten harder.

Recently there has been an influx of new drinks and flavored martinis. I have nothing against blue drinks topped with a parasol, but a martini should be vodka or gin with a touch of vermouth and an olive - no chocolate, no coffee, no banana liqueur. Okay, maybe I wouldn't measure up as a bartender because I can't think outside the glass.

There are other times I've wanted to be a race car driver. Admittedly, my desire is strongest when I'm stuck in traffic; but there are women whose desire turned into drive.

In 1979 Janet Guthrie was the first woman to race in the Indianapolis 500. Lynn St. James raced in nine Indy 500's and was rookie of the year in 1992. Danica Patrick won the Indy Japan 300 in 2008.

Although many people attribute these women's success to the feminist movement, there were more women racing before Betty Freidan wrote "The Feminine Mystique" in 1963. In fact, in the 1950's there were six women in NASCAR racing. These were women who didn't think poodle skirts, beehive hairstyles and cat-eye glasses were racy enough.

Although lots of people want to be actors, some actors have thought their birth names projected the wrong image for them. Nicholas Coppola didn't want to ride on the coattails of his famous uncle, Francis Ford Coppola, so he changed his name to Nicholas Cage. Ramon Estevez thought an Irish name would be better for him than a Latino one and he changed his name to Martin Sheen. As for Martin Sheen's actor sons, Emilio Estevez kept his birth name and Carlos Irwin Estevez changed his name to Charlie Sheen.

Then there's Maurice Micklewhite. Maurice preferred the first name Michael and picked his last name from a movie marquee for "The Caine Mutiny". Now Michael Caine jokes that if he'd looked in the other direction, his name would be Michael The 101 Dalmatians.

Because the Screen Actors Guild won't allow actors to have the same name, the actor who was born Michael Douglas changed his name to Michael Keaton. And it didn't take a genius to know that the actor born Albert Einstein should change his name and he changed it to Albert Brooks.

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KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at knightwatch.typepad.com



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